Oresama's Journal
by Hopeless27
Summary: Following Atobe and co. for seven days as they spend time Hyoutei style with extra sneak peeks into Atobe’s personal journal. T for mature discussions and languages.


**Rated:**** T**

**Summary**: **Following Atobe and co. for seven days as they spend time Hyoutei style with extra sneak peaks into Atobe's personal journal.**

**Pairings: ****Atoji, implied dirty**

**Category: ****humour**

**Characters:**** Hyoutei**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own PoT**

* * *

_This is another sequalish thingie to my Hyoutei fics, you don't have to read them all but it might make more sense if you do, lot's of them are just senseless drabbles anyways but oh well, here's a list:_

_**Hyotei Phobia**_

_**Hyotei Library Session**_

_**Bets and Lovers**_

_**Book of Stupidity**_

_**Fights and Idiots**_

_**Switching Places**_

_**Book of Stupidity 2**_

_**Melting Ice**_

_**Lost in Tennis**_

_**Of Cameras and Attention**_

_**Street Tennis**_

* * *

_**Ore-sama's secret Journal**_

_May 11:_

_I swear my team is insane, seriously insane, it's not normal for a fourteen year old boy to jump three metres into the air and land on his two feet, ore-sama has no doubt about that. This is what ore-sama has to put up with everyday, today was no better. We saw a health video…needless to say, this was chaotic, disastrous, completely insane, just like everyday. Ore-sama should get used to this now... thank god I have my own personal spa._

_-insert some swearwords in some random languages-_

_Ore-sama has finished this uncivilized cursing, thank the gods that I have this journal, without it I would go insane._

_Atobe-sama_

* * *

"Ew, what are those things? They look like tadpoles!" was the first think Mukahi said as he was watching the educational video. 

"They're not tadpoles, Gakuto, they're sperm" Oshitari said.

"But they're so…wiggly!" Mukahi exclaimed.

"No freaking duh, just watch the damned movie." Shishido growled, it was bad enough having phys.ed with the senior tennis club members, but having to put up with Mukahi…whoever thought of the idea of putting the entire tennis team into the same gym class should be dragged out onto the street and shot.

"What do sperm do?"

"They fertilize the egg." Atobe explained.

"How?"

"Let's not go into that."

"But I wanna know!"

"Gakuto…" Oshitari glanced at his doubles partner, "Do you ever pay attention in health class?"

"Um…"

"You know at least what sex is right?" Shishido asked, a hint of pink in his cheeks.

"…yeah…it's when…yeah." Mukahi blushed.

"Sperm is in the semen of the men and is transmitted into the female during intercourse the sperm will fertilize the female egg…" Oshitari said, quoting the video word for word, totally unfazed by this delicate subject.

"So what happens when a guy and a guy do it?" Mukahi asked.

"Nothing, guys can't get pregnant."

"Well I know that!" Mukahi said, "does the sperm die?"

"GAKUTO, SHUT THE HELL UP THIS INSTANT AND WATCH THE DAMNED MOVIE!" Atobe glared at his team-mate.

"Touchy." Shishido grinned.

"Jirou molester!" Mukahi coughed and settled down, it didn't help much that Jirou was lying fast asleep in Atobe's lap.

* * *

_May 12:_

_Mukahi and Shishido's continuous debates are getting out of hand. Oshitari is concocting some evil scheme, ore-sama can see it in his twisted eyes. The only controllable members of the team would be Ohtori, Hiyoshi and Kabaji, although ore-sama will not trust Hiyoshi much…even if he will lead Hyoutei next year. The good news is that Mukahi's knee is healed, unfortunately that's also the bad news. Ore-sama cannot stand another minute of his insane jumping and continuous questions, he is like a catechism._

_Jirou said he wanted to come over to study with ore-sama. I just wished that he wouldn't ask me in Chemistry, I wouldn't want him to get hurt. However, I said yes, although I doubt we'll study much. At any rates, Jirou is probably just using that excuse to eat my cook's biscuits but how could ore-sama say no?_

_Also, ore-sama cannot, no, refuse to believe that Jirou doesn't know what Viagra is… and ore-sama refuses to preach on that subject. Mukahi already tortures ore-sama enough about molesting Jirou, although Jirou and I have never done anything of that sort…much… anyway that is completely off topic and I will not go further into that topic, not even in there. _

_Atobe-sama_

* * *

"Kei-channn!" 

"Jirou, I'm doing our chemistry experiment, don't jump around." Said an Atobe clad in a white lab coat and holding vials of chemicals.

"But Kei-chan…" Jirou stopped jumping and settled with just shifting his weight from one foot to another.

"What is it?" Atobe looked at Jirou, but he didn't seemed annoyed so Jirou decided to continue to pester him with questions.

"Can I go study at your house after school tomorrow?"

"Study ahhh?"

"Yep, can I, can I?" Jirou jumped up again.

"JIROU STOP JUMPING, YOU ALMOST MADE ME SPILL THE CHEMICALS!" Atobe snapped.

"Well…it's not like Tari-kun isn't spilling all that, with Muka-kun around." Jirou pouted.

"Aku-chan, their best subject is chemistry, I think they'll do better than us." Atobe rubbed his temples.

"They won't beat you, though, you're the best in all your classes."

"That's true, ore-sama cannot be beaten."

"I HEARD THAT!" Mukahi shouted from across the room.

"Well it's the truth, do not contradict ore-sama." Atobe said, mixing chemicals.

"So can I go over? Please?????"

"Yes, to study."

"Sugeee!!!!" Jirou grinned.

_Time skip to practise that night…_

"You want to know…WHAT?"

"I wanna know what Viagra is! I read the term somewhere and I wanna know!!"

"…."

"Shishido, explain." Atobe commanded, flicking his hair.

"WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN? Make Muka-kun idiot explain."

"HEY! I'm not an idiot!"

"…I know, I'll go ask Tari-kun!" Jirou grinned and skipped to where Oshitari was sitting, tying his shoe laces.

"Aku-kun?" Oshitari looked up for a second before going back to his shoes.

Jirou took a deep breath and started a really fast explanation. "So like I was in this shop and there was this guy who was like all I dipped into my Viagra stash and I've been pleasing people all over Tokyo today, but he was really old like in college or something so I didn't wanna ask him what Viagra is but I really wanna know. So now I'm asking you guys but nobody will tell me and I think you would know because you're really smart and stuff… so what's Viagra?"

"Okay I'm just going to ignore that first part." Oshitari stood up and grabbed his water bottle, "Viagra is…"

"Is this really necessary?" Mukahi asked.

"Shut up, Muka-kun, don't interrupt Tari-kun!" Jirou said.

"Tari-kun…?" Oshitari winced at the pet name.

"Tari-kun! So tell me what Viagra is!!!" Jirou demanded.

Oshitari winced but decided to indulge Jirou this time, "Viagra is a drug used to erect penises"

"In other words, get boners." Mukahi nodded as-matter-of-factly.

"Oooohhhh…." Jirou seemed fascinated.

"You're lucky Hiyoshi, Choutarou and Kabaji aren't here yet." Shishido said.

"By the by, where are they?" Mukahi looked around.

"Kabaji and Choutarou have cleaning duty." Shishido said.

"And Hiyoshi, ahhh?" Atobe asked.

"He's…somewhere."'

"He's coming!" Jirou called from the window, "Waka-kun!!"

"Where did he come up with those names?" Shishido asked Atobe.

"It's Jirou." Atobe stated flatly.

"Oh true."

* * *

_May13:_

_I cannot find my wallet, ore-sama refuses to use the word lost. Ore-sama does not lose things. But Ore-sama's wallet in the wrong hands can be dangerous, also I miss my credit cards…_

_But Jirou is here to cheer ore-sama up, as ore-sama is writing this, Jirou is currently sleeping on the couch. I wonder if anyone's found my wallet yet. I hope it is not Mukahi, or Oshitari…let it be someone like Ohtori. I've already sent out servants to look for my wallet but so far, they have not returned. This is becoming a big problem._

_Atobe-sama._

* * *

"Hey, what's this?" Mukahi asked, staring at a piece of leather on a bench inside the clubhouse. 

"What?" Oshitari looked over Mukahi's shoulder, "I believe that is Atobe's wallet."

"Ato-buchou forgot his wallet?" Oh my, this was just too good. Mukahi grinned.

"Shouldn't we return it to him?" Ohtori asked.

"Are you kidding? Let's look through it, I wanna steal his credit cards!" Mukahi grinned and picked up the wallet.

"Open it!" Shishido urged. And he did, the wallet was leather with a solid gold buckle, inside was every type of card imaginable, master card, visa card, debit cards from three banks, student id card, a picture of Jirou.

"And all I have is a debit and a master card." Mukahi mumbled.

"Wow, how much money do you think he has in there, cards included?" Ohtori asked.

"Like, probably a billion yen…or more." Shishido rolled his eyes.

"Lucky bastard." Mukahi cursed.

"How much cash does he have in there?" Hiyoshi asked, his interest perked.

"Whoa, this is amazing, he has 50, 000 yen!" Mukahi gasped.

"I don't think you should take that, Mukahi-senpai." Ohtori said.

"Yeah, he should split it with us!" Shishido said, snatching the wallet from Mukahi.

"Who wants the picture of Jirou?" Oshitari smirked.

"We can leave that to Atobe…"

"Why the hell is that in there?" Shishido asked.

"Maybe because they're dating…?" Hiyoshi stated the obvious.

"Look at his receipts!" Mukahi called.

"What did he buy?" Hiyoshi asked.

"Typical, Pride and Prejudice, The Scarlet Letter… limited edition…" Shishido rolled his eyes and flicked his long hair.

"And Chopin CD…and live Italian opera tickets…" Hiyoshi sweatdropped, "doesn't he order those online?"

"He must've gotten bored." Oshitari said.

"Whoa! What's this?" Mukahi took out card.

"What is it?" Ohtori asked.

"A business card for a love hotel." Mukahi totally dropped the piece of paper.

"Love hotels have business cards?" Hiyoshi asked.

"I didn't know Jirou and Atobe were that close!" Shishido grinned.

"They've been dating for what? Like a week?" Mukahi looked at Oshitari for confirmation.

"Correct."

"Horny bastards…"

"…"

* * *

_March 14:_

_I finally got my wallet back, Sakaki-sensei returned it to me, not surprisingly, all my cash is gone, oh well, there wasn't much in there; way less than ore-sama usually carries. Ore-sama's cards are still in there and the picture of Jirou (the most important thing in the wallet) is undisturbed. I suspect Mukahi and Shishido, they've always been trying to get their hands on Ore-sama's wallet, to think that if some unworthy people touched Ore-sama's things and Jirou's picture makes ore-sama want to scream._

_Atobe-sama_

* * *

"Mukahi! Where'd you get the money for that CD? I thought you were broke, ahhh?" 

"Oh well, I borrowed some money from Yuushi." Mukahi's eyes were wayyy too shifty.

"Hey Atobe?" Shishido called from a corner.

"What?"

"Go easy on Jirou okay?"

"…" Atobe doesn't know what they're talking about, a businessman gave the card, along with some other ads, to Atobe in the mall and Atobe just put them in his wallet for the time being. Choosing to ignore Shishido, he turned back to Mukahi. "He lets you borrow things even when you owe him about 100, 000 yen?" Atobe raised an eyebrow.

"Announce it to the world why don't you." Mukahi mumbled, "Yuushi's nice, aren't you Yuushi?"

"Yep, I love my Gaku-chan." Oshitari called from across the room.

"Not more than tennis though." Only Atobe, with his insight could see the pain in Mukahi's face and hear the bitterness in his voice (even though that had nothing to do with insight)

"Nope," Oshitari didn't seem to notice, or if he did, he didn't care.

* * *

_March 15:_

_Ore-sama thinks theres something going on with the doubles two pairing. Not that Ore-sama will care about other people's personal affairs but this might affect their tennis, I have a duty to lead the team to the nationals. Funnily enough, I've always thought that Mukahi and Oshitari were perfectly fine together, insight must be failing me. I'm beginning to think that Mukahi has more than friendly feelings for Oshitari, although Oshitari doesn't seem to return them, hmmm, only time will tell, in the meantime, ore-sama can just order more laps._

_Atobe-sama_

* * *

" Kei-chan… is something bothering you?" 

"No, why do you ask, Aku-chan?"

"Well this is supposed to be our special date but you haven't been eating or talking, you're no fun anymore!" Jirou pouted, shaking his head, "I think I'd be better off asleep." Yawning, he curled up next to Atobe.

"Jirou, wake up."

"Whaaat?"

"It's doubles two…"

"Muka-kun and Tori-kun?" Jirou asked, "What about them?"

"…It seems that doubles two have a…complicated relationship." Atobe loved the fact that he could talk to Jirou about anything.

"Whaddaya mean?" Jirou asked.

"Mukahi…"

"What about him?"

"Never mind…" Atobe smiled and kissed Jirou on the lips, "It doesn't matter anymore."

* * *

_Saturday March 16:_

_My parents are trying to drag me into a Kaiseki. Ore-sama hates going there, only middle-aged rich people go there, and although ore-sama is rich, I am hardly middle-aged. Ore-sama just wants to spend some time with Jirou. Jirou and ore-sama will spend time at the pool tomorrow after practise._

* * *

"This sucks! Why do we have to practise on Saturday, and in the morning?!?!...so sleepy…" Jirou was swaying back and forth dangerously. 

"Jirou, the prefecture prelims are coming up, we must practise." Atobe said patiently.

"It's not like we're going to play anyways." Shishido said.

"We can't have you guys slacking, you will disgrace ore-sama."

"Jirou slacks all the time and you don't mind! A captain shouldn't be partial!" Mukahi argued.

"Shut up, you'll wake Jirou."

"…"

* * *

_March 17:_

_Ore-sama is renovating the summer cottage in hopes that ore-sama can take Hyoutei there for extra training. They sorely need this training. Such incompetent people ore-sama has to put up with everyday, at least Hiyoshi discovered his Enbu tennis._

_Mukahi spilled his Ponta on ore-sama's uniform, such vulgar behaviour, one would hardly think that they are in the prestigious Hyoutei, it seems that ore-sama can do nothing but complain._

_Atobe-sama  
PS. Being buchou is a LOT harder than it looks._

* * *

"HOW DID YOU SPILL PONTA ON ORE-SAMA'S SHIRT?!?!?" Atobe was screaming at Mukahi. 

"I tripped over Yuushi's tennis bag and spilled it." Mukahi shrugged.

"ARGH!" Atobe rubbed his temples, trying to calm his rage.

"Calm down, it's not like you don't have a hundred more at home." Oshitari said. "Don't make me throw my Jirou at you."

"Throw me?" Jirou edged away from Oshitari.

"YOUR JIROU?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR JIROU!?!? AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? WAIT FOR MY SERVANT TO BRING ANOTHER ONE?!?!?

"Duh." Shishido rolled his eyes.

"Atobe, calm down, I was just kidding." Oshitari said.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THAT WOULD TAKE?"

"Not really?" Hiyoshi allowed a hint of a smile to appear on his face.

"ORE-SAMA CANNNOT HAVE ANYONE SEEING ORE-SAMA WITH A SHIRT LIKE THIS!"

"…" _Walk away…slowly…_

"ORE-SAMA CANNOT WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE, YOU'RE ALL FIRED!"

"…we're not your servants, Atobe." Oshitari said.

"YOU'RE STILL FIRED!"

"You can't fire us!" Mukahi argued.

"YOU'RE OFF THE TEAM!"

"Metrosexual?" Hiyoshi asked.

"Absolutely"

* * *

_**A/N: **__Woot, I'm done, so early too, yeah I had fun doing this in business class and geo class and English class and science class. –Cough- of course I was taking notes!! –cough- I think some of them are a bit ooc but …yeah…I tried._ Enjoy!! _On a side note, the Jirou throwing was actually something my friend came up with, she's like "Shut up, i'll throw my Fiza at you!"  
_

_Thanks to KeikoHyuuga for like…nothing… but im putting her here anyways so she doesn't yell at me…(just kidding Ica! Thanks for helping me…ish)_

**I love your reviews!!! Pretty please?**_  
_


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